The revisions that I have tried to make clearer in my Prezi are to better show my argument, connecting it back to myself, and connecting back to the idea of stasis. My argument for the presentation is to say why the outer branches of the family tree are so important—everyone know that their parents are important and they know that siblings can be important but cousins and grandparents play a huge role in our values and beliefs. I have reorganized my Prezi to show myself and the connections that I have to each of the groups and images included. I want to be able to show myself in the Prezi so that the audience feels a connection to the story as well. I am still working to fully incorporate the idea of stasis into the whole presentation but I will look further into that as well.
I have also changed the set up of the Prezi so that it doesn't zoom all over the place and so that the areas I want to connect to are clearer. I have added more frames and took out the original layout of branching out like a tree because it did not come off the way I had intended. I hope that it runs through more smoothly to the audience now and that I have brought myself into it enough.
(May 2-More Revisions after Presentation)
I have been spending more time on my Prezi looking through the comments and trying to rework it. I saw that there was not really a connection between myself and the Prezi (just more when I talked about it in the presentation). So I have added myself into the beginning with a family picture that focuses first on me and then putting myself into the family as a whole- it's a bit blurry but I wanted to use one picture that showed me in the family. Some of my other changes included adding in the Ramage identity quotes that I used in my presentation. I realized that they needed to be reflected in the Prezi itself, so I added them in with my own thoughts still present. I hope that I made a better, clearer connection to his idea of identity now. The other works that I used were just supporting works for how I set it up and for understanding why i choose these images; they would not make clear sense if put into the Prezi.
I changed the background and the colors of the fonts that I worked with. I wanted it to see clear and understandable to the audience and not just myself. It took me a while to get it all how I wanted it but I think that it works now connecting to the readings and getting my point across. There is a bit more wording on the Prezi itself than I originally wanted but I think that it is necessary to help the audience see where my thoughts were.
Responses to Prezi Presentations:
Justin Taylor
I liked how each of the images that you used took on the role of the destructor and said that it wasn't destruction, even though that is the way we would typically view it. The reasoning to support the destructor gave a side that they media does not portray. I really liked how the view point showed why they did not see it as destruction but as a way of making things right and creating a sort of justice for their actions.
One suggestion that I have for you is to make the point clearer through the images. While I knew the destructors point of view, I didn't really know why you were telling me this.
Nicole Wang
I liked the poem at the beginning of the Prezi and how the images were then applied to the lines—I liked how the same images were used to tie into the illusionment of life that we all go through. I liked how it was just a few images that everything tied back into. The simplicity of it makes it that much stronger. The images have an emotional appeal that helps to draw the audience in.
One thing that I would change, doesn't really reflect the Prezi but I figured it was something, is that you explained so much in the beginning of your presentation that wasn't part of the depiction in Prezi. Maybe try to incorporate some of these ideas back in the actual Prezi.
Brandon Tarby
I liked how you reused the images to tell both sides of the story. The idea is something that everyone can relate to because we always think that our problems are the biggest, when there is so much more out there in the world that we don't have to face. You did a really good job of connecting your presentation back to the readings. It was a really good presentation.
My only suggestion would be to maybe make it clearer how the verses of the Bible relate back to each of the things that happened in the story—you talked about it in the presentation but the Prezi doesn't really show it that clearly.
Amanda
I really liked the readymades that you choose—the topic is something that we as your audience can relate to. The Prezi was very organized and neatly presented, great job! The Prezi could stand by itself and be fully understood, which is the point. I liked how you gave us background information that made it personal at the beginning.
One suggestion I have is to show how you got from the negative views to the positive suggestions, like how they can relate to one another.
Rachael
While I could not connect to the video game aspect and I sort of felt lost in the beginning, you quickly cleared it up and explained how you wanted it to apply to the real world—good job with that. I liked the set up of the Prezi; the circle path of it being a cycle was a good idea.
The only suggestion that I have is that some of the words that were set in different colors (I think to stand out) were actually lost against the background. Also some of the text was really small, just set aside space in your path to zoom in on the text.
Jason Frey
I liked how all of the "before" images were in black and white and the "after" images were in colors—it gives the appeal of the before being dull and the after being bright. You related in back to Ramage and the specific ideas which was really good. While the audience is not one that I see myself falling into, I think that it fits and would draw in the people who go for these types of speed diets.
My only suggestion for you would be to see if you could include your Ramage tie-ins into the Prezi. It was a really good presentation!
Jessica
I liked how you used the starting image from the media (facebook) where you actually found it. The connection to your own life is good and then slowing down to think about treasuring the life you've been given—I really liked how you were a part of the story. You had a good connection to audience/agent view from Ramage. There were strong talking points included and the connection to the audience, while you were still able to keep the story personal.
Potentially you would want to group the images of the "defamiliarization" in a type of frame like you grouped the images that apply to you. Also is the arrow that you showed at the end, is that included in the path of the Prezi?
Response/Revision Based on Comments and Reviews:
The revisions that I have tried to make clearer in my Prezi are to better show my argument, connecting it back to myself, and connecting back to the idea of stasis. My argument for the presentation is to say why the outer branches of the family tree are so important—everyone know that their parents are important and they know that siblings can be important but cousins and grandparents play a huge role in our values and beliefs. I have reorganized my Prezi to show myself and the connections that I have to each of the groups and images included. I want to be able to show myself in the Prezi so that the audience feels a connection to the story as well. I am still working to fully incorporate the idea of stasis into the whole presentation but I will look further into that as well.I have also changed the set up of the Prezi so that it doesn't zoom all over the place and so that the areas I want to connect to are clearer. I have added more frames and took out the original layout of branching out like a tree because it did not come off the way I had intended. I hope that it runs through more smoothly to the audience now and that I have brought myself into it enough.
(May 2-More Revisions after Presentation)
I have been spending more time on my Prezi looking through the comments and trying to rework it. I saw that there was not really a connection between myself and the Prezi (just more when I talked about it in the presentation). So I have added myself into the beginning with a family picture that focuses first on me and then putting myself into the family as a whole- it's a bit blurry but I wanted to use one picture that showed me in the family. Some of my other changes included adding in the Ramage identity quotes that I used in my presentation. I realized that they needed to be reflected in the Prezi itself, so I added them in with my own thoughts still present. I hope that I made a better, clearer connection to his idea of identity now. The other works that I used were just supporting works for how I set it up and for understanding why i choose these images; they would not make clear sense if put into the Prezi.I changed the background and the colors of the fonts that I worked with. I wanted it to see clear and understandable to the audience and not just myself. It took me a while to get it all how I wanted it but I think that it works now connecting to the readings and getting my point across. There is a bit more wording on the Prezi itself than I originally wanted but I think that it is necessary to help the audience see where my thoughts were.
Responses to Prezi Presentations:
Justin Taylor
I liked how each of the images that you used took on the role of the destructor and said that it wasn't destruction, even though that is the way we would typically view it. The reasoning to support the destructor gave a side that they media does not portray. I really liked how the view point showed why they did not see it as destruction but as a way of making things right and creating a sort of justice for their actions.One suggestion that I have for you is to make the point clearer through the images. While I knew the destructors point of view, I didn't really know why you were telling me this.
Nicole Wang
I liked the poem at the beginning of the Prezi and how the images were then applied to the lines—I liked how the same images were used to tie into the illusionment of life that we all go through. I liked how it was just a few images that everything tied back into. The simplicity of it makes it that much stronger. The images have an emotional appeal that helps to draw the audience in.One thing that I would change, doesn't really reflect the Prezi but I figured it was something, is that you explained so much in the beginning of your presentation that wasn't part of the depiction in Prezi. Maybe try to incorporate some of these ideas back in the actual Prezi.
Brandon Tarby
I liked how you reused the images to tell both sides of the story. The idea is something that everyone can relate to because we always think that our problems are the biggest, when there is so much more out there in the world that we don't have to face. You did a really good job of connecting your presentation back to the readings. It was a really good presentation.
My only suggestion would be to maybe make it clearer how the verses of the Bible relate back to each of the things that happened in the story—you talked about it in the presentation but the Prezi doesn't really show it that clearly.
Amanda
I really liked the readymades that you choose—the topic is something that we as your audience can relate to. The Prezi was very organized and neatly presented, great job! The Prezi could stand by itself and be fully understood, which is the point. I liked how you gave us background information that made it personal at the beginning.One suggestion I have is to show how you got from the negative views to the positive suggestions, like how they can relate to one another.
Rachael
While I could not connect to the video game aspect and I sort of felt lost in the beginning, you quickly cleared it up and explained how you wanted it to apply to the real world—good job with that. I liked the set up of the Prezi; the circle path of it being a cycle was a good idea.The only suggestion that I have is that some of the words that were set in different colors (I think to stand out) were actually lost against the background. Also some of the text was really small, just set aside space in your path to zoom in on the text.
Jason Frey
I liked how all of the "before" images were in black and white and the "after" images were in colors—it gives the appeal of the before being dull and the after being bright. You related in back to Ramage and the specific ideas which was really good. While the audience is not one that I see myself falling into, I think that it fits and would draw in the people who go for these types of speed diets.
My only suggestion for you would be to see if you could include your Ramage tie-ins into the Prezi. It was a really good presentation!
Jessica
I liked how you used the starting image from the media (facebook) where you actually found it. The connection to your own life is good and then slowing down to think about treasuring the life you've been given—I really liked how you were a part of the story. You had a good connection to audience/agent view from Ramage. There were strong talking points included and the connection to the audience, while you were still able to keep the story personal.Potentially you would want to group the images of the "defamiliarization" in a type of frame like you grouped the images that apply to you. Also is the arrow that you showed at the end, is that included in the path of the Prezi?